Do I stand on the left or right?

You go to weddings all the time. The bride is always on the left, the groom is always on the right. But wait! Why is my wedding picture opposite?  Yes, I’m actually standing on the right! What gives? After 20  years I reveal the reason for this decision! Yes, we did this on purpose!

Our Wedding. Me standing on the Right!

Wedding tradition goes…

The wedding tradition goes that the man had to keep his right hand (or sword fighting hand) available in case there was an attack. Evidently back in the day, there was a lot of stealing wives at the altar. The groom could draw his sword without slicing his bride’s head off. Therefore, By tradition, a woman always stands to her husbands left. So it would only make sense that if your husband (to be) is left-handed, you would stand to his right. (aaahhh…see….)

My husband is left handed. By default, we do everything the opposite in my house! (my son is also left handed so I’m a minority)  When people look at our wedding pictures the first thing they notice (besides the tulle that is falling) is that I’m on the wrong side. Nope. I’m not. For our wedding and purposes of meaning, I was to stand to my husband’s right. Think logically, if the zombie apocalypse happened in the middle of our ceremony he could draw his sword and I would not be in the way, and he would kill the zombie, not his new wife.  Because we are a pretty equal couple, this works out fabulously. I’m right-handed so we can each draw our swords and not hurt each other and kill twice as many zombies. See…always thinking!

So what is correct?

Contrary to popular belief, in this day and age, it doesn’t matter which side you stand on! <gasp!> I know right!? Unless your house of worship has specific rules (Jewish weddings the woman is on the right) you can stand where ever you want! Come again? Yes. You can stand on whichever side is most comfortable for you!

When I meet with a couple, most people are very concerned about making sure they are doing everything the right way. They kind of look at me strange when I don’t have a definitive answer to their question regarding tradition because it’s pretty loose these days. The biggest thing about weddings in this day and age is that there are very few rules that you HAVE to follow. Yes, there are traditions that some people like to follow, but you don’t have to do them if you don’t want to! In fact, if you wanted to do something completely out of the ordinary you can! This is your wedding and you need to do what has meaning and makes sense to you!

If you are reading this and you are engaged and in the middle of planning your wedding, promise me that you will do what YOU want for your wedding. Not what someone else says you should do. Step outside the box! Get creative! Make this day meaningful and fun. I mean weddings are supposed to be a happy time with laughter. Show your own personality and have a good time.


(I still can’t believe someone didn’t fix that arbor before the ceremony started….where the heck was my planner!) If you are curious, this was in my husband’s parents backyard in Lousiville, Kentucky. It was soooooo hot!)